when i finally eat its because something bad has happened. when my anxiety gets to a certain point, basically when im shaking with racing thoughts, thats what pushes me over the edge.. and i binge.
well today was one of those days. i tried purging of course but i acctually was throwing up food from the night before when i binged. i was basically feeling dirtier than while i was shoving food in my body. so i decided to compensate a diffrent way. i went to the gym. im not sure how much this reallly affects my binge intake.. but i needed to feel cleansed and it worked. i spent over an hour in the gym working out. first was cardio. moderate/high incline and a moderate speed alternating to a jogging speed for 40 minutes. then i did 100 crunches and worked my obliques muscles ( the muscles on the side of your abdomain that give you that sexy 'V' shape.) i felt so much better even though i know there is still food inside me.
im fasting tomorrow. complete water fast. i have some metabolism increasing tea that i will use for energy until i get caffine pills.im not even going to eat breakfast with my phsych pills because tomorrow morning i will still not digested all that garbage, so it will be safe to take my meds. im excited.
think thin.
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